Shape Shifting - At It's Scariest and Best

I need to tell you that my life changed today!
It has been coming for a while and the last two weeks have been, being honest, a very difficult challenge. Sometimes to the point where I was not sure that I was willing to go the whole way through this process (again).
I was so challenged by this personal metamorphosis, that I was thinking and believing that I really may not ever be able to have my requirements met in my most intimate relationship.

Then on Wednesday, after yet another argument with Meg, maybe the fifth or sixth day (or was it 3 weeks) of consecutive daily arguments, where I was again, damn near, resigned to the fact that my requirements were not getting met and that she didn't care to ry to meet them that, I got really angry, threw stuff and walked away.
Cussin and spittin!
It was in the moments that immediately followed, that the light turned on for me. I was all of a sudden, instantly able to see something, still not fully clear, about me that was, not just present in my life with Meg but, was spread across and predominant in all areas of my life.
I went back to attempt to talk and to explain it to Meg but, still what came out of my mouth were words that had not yet caught up with where I was heading, or so I thought.
I was still saying, "This is who I am, I am like this with everybody, I like being like this, I have developed this way of being for a reason, if you can't be with this then perhaps we are over as a couple!" But it was in my saying these things that it actually popped. Like the sound of when one of your bones break or your shoulder come sout of it's socket. Something popped and I was now about to see and hear what it was.
It happened to be the words captured and surrounded within the string of words I had just spewed, that were the key to unlock the door to my next level of personal freedom.

I said, " I am Like This With Everybody."
As soon as my mind heard those words my intensity trailed off. It realized that it had just solved its own dilemma. The questions started filing in; Is this why you feel so disappointed with most everyone you come in contact with daily? Is this why you are never satisfied with how you are treated in restaurants, stores, on the phone with customers, representatives, sales people, customer service attendants, literally everyone?
Is this what creates your constant unease and general dissatisfaction in life no matter what you do? Could it be that this is what generates your obvious discord and prevents you from being truly happy?
Am I really, really responsible for the way my life is occurring at this level? Is it really me?

The answer was unavoidable. It was true. It was me and the very way I have been holding others responsible for my own happiness; seamlessly embedded into my way of being that looked perfectly as if it was them, all of them. This is the second time in my life where I am absolutely certain and aware of the consciousness shift that has taken place with full knowledge that there is no returning to the way It was.
Holy Shit and Thanks to Source, both at the same time in the very same breath and thought.

I saw that I had a broadcast, intense and fully networked, yet undisclosed to the purveyor, set of expectations that was running the show in all categories and undermining my ability to have Full Joy, as an option, in my life. The expectations excluded my opportunity to have that Joy!
Today, at the very moment of argument outset, of what was quickly going to escalate to a full out yelling match, based, yet again, on the fact that Meg was not meeting my unspoken expectation in this moment; I was able to stop it, immediately, on the spot and choose to have peace and joy with her. In that instant, and it really did happen in litterally 5 seconds or less, both of us were warped back to the happy life we are committed to expressing as our intent and intending to live out daily.
It was that simple and took that much awareness on my part. Sounds simple but it was a process that took many more, countless more 5 second periods stacked on top of each other.
My mind wanted to engage but my heart and commitment took over and in that instant it was gone.
It happened in a way that I wished had been easier to get to but, was so miraculous, in the moment, that I experienced floating on air and the precious shift that occurs emotionally that assures you that you have crossed the bridge.
Sweet Liberation and Peace emanated from my soul and well being was the sentiment.

Now ,I am not scientifically certain that what occurred for me actually caused the shift for Meg but,, in that moment it was simultaneous. She shifted as well her world got lighter and we simply got on with living our moments together in love and wellness.

Then, later on in the afternoon, Meg and I were in the truck with Jazz, heading to the beach and the driving range and Meg shared that she wants to included the things we are really excited about into our daily appreciations and also to live a life where she is and, hopefully we are, expressing ourselves with excitement when we are experiencing all the aspects of our life.

You cannot imagine how awesome this was for me to hear this. I have been asking, nay, begging, Meg to come off of the center line where she has been living life, where everything is just alright and OK, for many years. And now, here she is declaring that that is how she wants to live her life. EXCITED! Well, I am excited too!
I yawned when she said it just to add a little smack to the moment and she laughed. Of course she did, she's excited.
This is truly a miracle in our lives. The fact that my revelation and shift occurred today may not be the reason that hers did in this area but, it is too much of a coincidence to not link them together.
What an experience! The truth revealed once again. They do not bring it to the processing table we do! I do! I did! AMEN!