My Response to a Pondering Wise Man!

Ask the Coach!

Communication Skills: How can Improve them?

I'm not a great communicator and that creates challenges for my wife who is much more skilled in that area. When we have disagreements, when we're trying to work through relationship things, I have difficulty feeling heard, expressing my ideas, etc.

Because of that, I get defensive and either close down or get angry which just escalates into an argument. That, of course, doesn't work well for either of us and leads to hurt feelings, regret for saying things we shouldn't have and the like.
I need a better way for us to communicate and I need to learn some better skills.

I love my wife and I want her to be happy,

and I know I need to understand what I can do to create a better situation for both of us.

So my questions are --

What can I do to be a better communicator, and what can we do, as a couple, to communicate better with each other?

Thoughts?

I am so glad you asked!!!

Stop, in this moment, acknowledging what’s so about your communication skills

and commit to obtaining your desire anew, right here, right now!
Begin, at once, saying what you want to be so for you.

I see that you are already capable of doing this “wanting projection”

when I read that you want your wife to be happy.

Now do that same projection for yourself, in this area of desire!

Do you want to be defensive, unheard, angry or closed off?

I think not!

Your natural highest desire is calling you into what you do want; easy going, heard, happy and open to your wife and others, as evidenced by your very questioning.

(which is obviously the opposite end of those original statements)

In order to achieve that; think, speak & seek evidence for only what you do want.

Each time you have the experience of or notice your way of life not being what you want,

which feels bad to you,

catch yourself and think in that moment,

"What can I think, say and do, right now that will make me feel good?”

If your aim is here, your world and that of your wife’s will alter in the moment

and your communication will shift as well.

Immediately!

Have it your way!!