Familiar Situation with Coaching for all Ocassions

Dear Bill,
My husband and I divorced 6 months ago. But we're still living together because neither of us can afford to move out from our home. It's the one marital asset that we're hanging on to since we can't sell it and make enough to pay off our sizable mortgage. We've had many financial setbacks this year. I'm currently looking for work having been downsized from a previous position in the financial services industry, and his job is on shaky ground at best. Due to finances, we're still together, yet we want to be apart. We have 2 kids – pre-teens. Things are tense, we still argue and now I think we even have more resentment of each other because of being with each other and feeling trapped.
We want to move on with our lives. I want to go out and start dating again. We were "separated" for a year before the official divorce—but still living together then as well.
How can we move on with our lives when we're both still very much in each other's lives? I know he wants to date as much as I do, but it really isn't possible since we're still in the same home. Try explaining that to someone you might want to date.
How can we create a better atmosphere between us and our kids when we're all still in this together? And what do you think about dating? I need to move on—I want to be in a relationship. I don't know how to do that given these circumstances. Any thoughts?
Rachel from Reston

Bill responds ...
While reading about your situation I was struck with one thing -- your language!
No, you didn't use any swear words, but perhaps there were some toxic words in your description.
Changing your language may not necessarily alter any physical elements of your life immediately; however, it may make you feel more powerful and in charge of your life and begin to align you with what you say you want for yourself and your children.

Consider these examples:

Phrase: "We're still living together because neither of us can afford to move out."

Rephrased:"I have this great house to live in with the kids while I am reorganizing and creating my future!"

Phrase: "We've had many financial setbacks this year; I'm currently looking for work."

Rephrased: "I am actively creating the career of my dreams and money just comes to me effortlessly!"

Phrase: "We want to move on with our lives. I want to go out and start dating again."

Rephrased:"I am constantly moving toward my dreams and feel free to create and engage in a lifestyle that is best for me right now!"

If you could consider that your words follow your thoughts, and your actions follow your words, it may make sense to self monitor.
Pay close attention and alter your thoughts and words toward your clearest and highest chosen purpose, and then take on the joy of speaking, designing and taking actions that only support what you are truly seeking.
In any moment or situation; if you are feeling bad in any way, consider that a clue from your self that you are not aligned with your true intentions. If you are feeling good know that you are on the right path and celebrate the moment.

Bill Paglia-Scheff 860.209.9254