Valid Excuses For Not Getting Married?

Sarah from Colorado Asks:

We've been in a relationship for 5 years. We're both in our thirties. We've talked about getting married and we both want that but it seems like John (not his real name) always has an excuse for not moving forward.
We started living together a year ago to save money. He's concerned about his job given the current economics. And, I'm concerned with mine, too. I'm a flight attendant--my work is not steady. He has a lot of credit card debt (and I have a few thousand) and that is weighing heavy on him. He doesn't want to have a wedding that is not our dream wedding. He says it's a once-in-a-lifetime event and he wants it to be memorable for us and our parents and friends. He thinks we need a lot of money, time for planning it, and the right circumstances to move forward with this important part of our lives. This has been going on for two years.
I'm concerned there will always be an excuse.
What do I do?
What are the legitimate "excuses' for not getting married?
It seems like people get married all the time--life problems and all. Some people never get out of debt. I understand his concerns, but are these reasons for not getting married?
What's your advice?

Bill's Coaching in Response
Sarah,
In my response, I assume that you are certain that John actually wants to marry you and be married at all.
If the money issue is the main or only item that is the stop to being married, based on your expression of these things being “excuses,” it seems like the two of you may not have the same emphasis or import regarding your finances. Therefore, I also assume that you individually and/or together have not created a formal, written plan to manage your financial agreements. Forging one together would provide the following important visions and actions; allow you to formulate a precise, transparent goal reflecting when you will be free and clear from those previous monetary agreements, provide the framework for your lives, on a daily basis, allowing you to live in possibility as you stride toward the completion of your goal and provide an effective guide for managing any new agreements that you may want to enter into separately or together, including the wedding costs, regardless of what type of event it will be.
The very next thing that I suggest that you do together, however self serving this may seem, is engage a relationship coach. This will be the wisest investment you can make given the “current economics.” Together you will work to uncover and develop the requirements, needs and wants that are significant for both of you. You will discover tools, set the stage for the beginning of your created life together and begin the building of a lifelong profound intimate relationship. All the Best!

Bill Paglia Scheff
1extraordinarycoach@gmail.com