Be True To Yourself Even When Others Don't Want You To!
Waiting on others to approve a change
you know you must make in your own life --
an action you must take that will likely lessen
your dependency upon them, and perhaps drive them
to make changes in their habitual choices --
is like hoping that a snowman looks forward to a spring thaw.
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For further understanding. . .
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The Reality Behind the Need for Realizing New Relationships
As a result of my deepening interest in truthful ideas,
quite a few of my friends feel I have gone off the deep end,
and I have noticed a growing separation between us
as I work more and more for my own spiritual freedom.
It is not that I don't care for them, but rather
I am becoming less concerned about the things
that have always driven all of us.
My fear is they will eventually want
to have nothing to do with me.
Is it normal for friendships to pass as people change their life and level?
Is this what Christ meant when he said, "Let the dead bury their dead"?
Yes, quite often old friends will fall away as you work
on changing your interior relationship and begin
seeing more about this life and its true purpose.
Think of the company that a caterpillar keeps and then,
as it is transformed, how its new friends have wings and inhabit the sky.
Letting go of those who want to remain earthbound
is at least in part the true inner meaning of
this passage of Christ's that you have cited.
Because I see it as counterproductive to my spiritual work,
I have recently stopped sharing my negative states
with a person near and dear to me,
a friend who is also a practicing psychotherapist.
Now he seems threatened by this new action on my part.
He sees "sharing one's feelings" as the way
to achieve and maintain intimacy.
I don't feel that I can go back to the relationship the way it was.
Can you comment on this?
Congratulations! Through your inner work,
you have stumbled onto a great discovery.
Your sensing and understanding of this change
in relationship is accurate.
This person needs to feed on your weaknesses
in order to feel strong. By your refusing
to supply the food (of negative concerns),
the creature feeding suddenly shows itself.
Don't be afraid to see all of this and its implications.
The change that must occur as a result
of your choice not to be in a conspiracy of woes
will be the dawning of a new
and higher consciousness within yourself.
How do we find others who are also
searching for their true selves?
At times the search causes us to leave former friends behind --
not because we are better, but because we are different.
Here is a highly encouraging thought:
The study of Truth leads us to those relationships
that are beneficial to the Truth we are studying.
It could be said that as you grow in your love of Truth/God,
your newly emerging nature is a law unto itself
that naturally repels what is dissimilar to it
and likewise attracts what is helpful, healthy, and loving.
In short, while it is good to find others who are interested
in the Truth as a part of our own free will,
the search for others who are embracing their true nature
is ultimately directed by our own wish for the Truth.
I am having trouble understanding how to leave
relationships with my friends and family alone.
It seems that the changes I feel are affecting them,
but neither they nor I understand some of these changes.
It is an extremely confusing time for everyone in my life.
Can you help me ease this effect?
The Truth asks us to give it its way in our lives.
The relationships established before the dawning
of any such light within us are naturally going to be
put through necessary changes by the inclusion
of this new understanding as it dawns within us.
Try to understand that we live in a world
of which we see only a tiny, tiny part.
But even in those small glimpses of our physical reality
can we see hints of the celestial one.
What happens to the creatures living in any environment
when that environment is changed?
Some naturally stay, some must leave, and most importantly,
as it concerns our work, new creatures are attracted.
Continue with your work.
Be willing to let the chips fall where they may
with all of your relationships. Be kind, but above all, be true.
The rest will take care of itself.
At times it seems to me that the more I realize
about the awesome nature of spiritual love,
the more loneliness I feel in my current human relationships.
I long to share my discoveries with others,
but who do I turn to?
A certain kind of loneliness, of feeling ourselves all alone,
is a necessary portion of the path to the higher life.
This sense of being alone comes out of realizing
what are the inherent limitations in our actual relationships
in this life, combined with a growing spiritual longing
to commune with others in a deep and meaningful way.
Go through this. We easily forget that there is a God,
a Great Intelligence that guides the steps of anyone
willing to put Him/Truth before all else.
This same Intelligence will lead you to new relationships,
inner and outer ones, in which not only will you
be able to express the love you feel for the Truth,
but this same love will fill you as well.
-- Guy Finley
